Current mood:
fascinated
fascinated
Alright, so I guess you may be wondering about my actual dates =)
The first person I ever talked to on Match "IM," instant messenger… was a guy in a pink shirt. We can call him "pink shirt guy." I, of course, couldn't resist on commenting about the pink shirt, even though I liked it. I like to give guys a hard time for wearing pink shirts, but I really respect and like any guy that can successfully pull that off. And his response was, " Yeah, I've been getting a lot of slack about that. I'm colorblind and I actually thought it was green." Well that's not so funny to poke fun at. So I try to change the subject and say, "I guess you could never be a pilot, eh?" And the guy goes, "Well actually… the tests are kind of difficult to pass but I'm trying to get my license." I went, "Get your license in what? Don't say flying." Silence... "Flying." OKAY, SO I JUST LAUGHED AT YOU FOR BEING COLORBLIND AND THEN FURHTER RUB IT IN THAT YOU'LL NEVER REACH YOUR DREAMS. I was off to a great start. Match IM then kicked him off (as it tends to do) and I thought I had offended him completely. But, I hadn't. He became my match date 1.
DATE 1: We met at Las Brisas in Laguna Beach for margaritas. I didn't know quite what to expect because people sometimes look so different in person. A couple times I saw a dark haired man walk in and thought, "Oh no, please don't be him." When he arrived he was actually pretty cute in person, well dressed, and he paid for all my drinks. I would say he was a perfect gentleman except that after the 4th or 5th drink he became a little too comfortable and told me about his sexual fetishes, shiny and tight outfits. He then asked me mine and I said I wasn't sure if I had any, and maybe I'd give it some thought. Despite that, in review of the whole date he wasn't really a creep. I gave him the benefit of the doubt that this was just a really dumb, drunk, guy moment… to forget it is probably not an appropriate thing to bring up sexual fetishes on a first date. The other weird thing was that toward the middle of the date, he asked me how funny I thought he was on a scale from 1-10. And then when I answered honestly (you all know who you're dealing with here, but he didn't), he became hurt and sad. I thought a 6 was generous, seeing as he was very nice but not really funny. I tried to make him feel better about it by saying, "6 is 1 above average. Isn't that pretty good? I have a lot of friends that have me crying they are so funny, and so far I haven't had any tears, and you never give someone a 10 cause you gotta leave room for someone who might be funnier, so if they are 8s and 9s." He responded with, "I thought I'd at least be a 7." WOW. Then he asked how he was doing on the date altogether, and I said I was enjoying myself, and he asked for the scale again, and so I said 7 or 8. We walked the beach and hit up BJ's for a Pizookie to sober up, then hugged, and went our separate ways.
A few days later "pink shirt guy" texted me "hello," so I sent a "hi, what's up?" to which he that because it was so not responded with, "the moon." I didn't even know how to respond to it. It was pretty awful. So I didn't say anything. He followed it with "I'm trying to work my way up to an 8." With that?!! Hahahah… now that's funny. ;)
You can guess my interest from there.
DATE 2: New guy. I decided to get to know this guy a little better on the internet before meeting up. We finally decided to meet at Boomers because he said, "Let's be 14, and meet at Boomers." And I thought, "Just my style." I'd had numerous "IM" conversations with him (in which for some reason everything he wrote sounded patterned as if it were part of a speech, and so I started to hear him in a JFK voice). He was really random and pretty quick-witted and sometimes a bit of an asshole, which I like, so I was actually more excited for this one. I got ready, wore something cute, and did my make-up. Now please keep in mind that I have a really hard time making fun of this guy, because he was really nice, so I'm just going to report the facts. He showed up and I realized then that he had lied to me, because I had asked if he didn't have any pictures smiling because he had bad teeth and he said no, at least he didn't think they were bad.
Rule 1: Profiles to be leary of are any in which there are no pictures of that person smiling with their TEEF, where they are too far away, in the shadows, or if the majority of their pictures show them wearing sunglasses. In most cases, ladies, there is probably something to hide.
Unfortunately for him, I have a teeth fetish, and so this was a real problem off the bat. Chemistry waned in those first few seconds. Then I looked down to notice his flip-flops, but it wasn't the flip-flops I noticed. They were what my sister would term "demon feet", where the nails have grown long for a guy and are yellowish in color. So let's just say, I wasn't very attracted to his physical appearance, but of course I wanted to be polite and finish the date. Though appearance is NOT everything, and certainly NOT the most important thing in a relationship, I think it is a necessary piece of the puzzle to be attracted to your partner's looks.
One thing I learned on the date was that over the years my mini-golfing strategy has been all wrong. Usually when I go mini-golfing, I am pretty competitive, as is my nature. I concentrate on the game, take my time to aim, and most of the time I lose. But when your main concern is playing as fast as you can, you apparently start to win. I've been trying too hard all these years, focusing too deep, again much to my nature.
So as we continued to play, I found my date on a couple occasions backing into the bushes. I would hear rustling and then an "Ow!" and would turn to see one foot back in the shrubbery. Next, I heard him slapping himself, and turned to see that flies were circling around his face, which had some problem areas. We finished the game, and I realized it had only been about 20 minutes. :(
That's when he asked if I wanted to grab dinner, and I figured the least I could do was be a pleasant date and share his company for a while. So, we grabbed dinner at CPK, and he was a gentleman and paid for my meal. I then told him I had to work on a group project for school, which wasn't in the least bit a lie, but was a good reason to not continue the date any further. He walked me to my car, and I said thank you and that I had a good time. We didn't hug; I just rushed off. I felt bad we didn't have a good connection because I had spent time getting to know him and now a sudden break felt strange.
Rule 2: People who are good at being quick-witted online, may just be really good at relating to computers. Meet first to see if there is any spark, then get to know them.
Rule 3: As a guy, you should always pay on a date. This is just my personal opinion. It makes a girl feel special and shows that you value her time and company, AND it puts you in the driver's seat. If you want to promote yourself as a confident leader, generosity is a great way to show that your choices and leadership are gracious and giving in nature, and that you wish to take care of her. As a girl, you should always offer to pay and be willing to follow-through. It is always polite, and even better if every once in a while you insist that you pay the whole bill or at least your own part. This shows that you appreciate his sacrifices and do not want to become over-burdensome, or a gold digger, but wish to help out even when it's not expected. If a guy takes advantage of this time and time again, it only reflects badly on his character. If a guy doesn't have much money, I think it is only right for the girl to pitch in for her part of the meal, if you start dating each other quite frequently 'cause that's a lot of meals ladies(in all reality being close means sharing burdens, and paying is a burden. If he is willing to give when he has it, the least you can do is respond to that with your own generosity when he doesn't ). So far so good, both dates paid.
