current mood: awake
Date 3: The "Logan Look Alike" didn't actually look like Logan… in person he was waaaay shorter/smaller than Logan, and though he was cute in his own right, had different teeth and a different kind of pudgeyness in his face. He did nothing weird on the date, which takes him to my 1 spot. He was a perfect gentleman, and even let me play with his iphone and the hacker game he had on it that was motion sensitive. It was not a game to play while intoxicated, but I had a lot of fun. He told me his last girlfriend was bipolar, so I thought "Hey anything I do will seem miniscule in comparison to his past." Score! But he didn't call me, so I don't know what that says about me. Even with that fact, I didn't really think about him after the date which makes me think I either didn't know enough about him to be interested enough or I wasn't really interested in him either. We met at the Saloon in Laguna, walked around a bit, then hit the White House for another. The date was fairly long, about 5 hours, and then headed home with a hug. I think we could've been friends and played Rock Band together in another life.
Date 4: "Bong" was also a really nice guy. Our first date was at Opah in Aliso Viejo. He began the date by arriving with a sunflower to give me, which was incredibly sweet and scored mega points in my book. We had a good date, however I noticed a few red flags. He kept doing things that made me feel, he was a bit self-conscious about himself, such as obsessing about the lint on his shirt and having trouble eating because the sandwich was messy and he didn't want to seem like a pig. I placed my order without chicken, and he then ordered an entre with chicken, and then scrambled, "Oh I probably shouldn't have ordered the chicken huh?" I said, "Well, I really don't like chicken, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy it." I felt he was tap-dancing a little bit, trying to make me feel comfortable, which is very sweet and polite. Nerves maybe or maybe he wasn't comfortable in his own skin. I really value when people have a strong sense of self and know who they are, and what they want.
We had something in common, though. We had both been married and divorced before. I tend to like this scenario because there are some things that are very hard to really internally understand without experience, and marriage and divorce is one of them. Before I was in it, I had such naive ideas about commitment and that you could just put your mind to it and choose to stick it out. But, on a positive note, marriage and divorce teaches a HUGE life-lesson that would otherwise be missed for any person going through it. I like people who get that and have come to similar realizations about relationships and life-lasting love that I have undergone. And that what helps you through the hard times is being as sure as possible before you jump. Preplanning and listening to your heart. Even so, you might get hurt if someone else doesn't check their heart enough. There is no fail-proof guarantee. Just openness and faith and forgiveness if it doesn't work out.
I asked about his ex-wife, what she was like, just wondering out of curiosity and making conversation. This opened a book about who she was, her past career choices, and changes over the course of their relationship, and I began to think to myself, "I don't think he is over his ex." He talked about her quite endearingly, despite the fact that she left him and he is not quite sure whether she was faithful toward the end, as she began hanging with her current boyfriend while they were still together. He had really good teeth, and I found him attractive and quirky. And he was nice enough to walk me to my car from the restaurant.
Date 5: So I went out with "Bong" again. I guess I should explain why I call him "Bong." I happened to ask him his last name at one point. He got angrily embarrassed and explained that he hates his last name because it has such a negative connotation. He actually stirred it up so much I started to think it was Shitsloggin or something. But in fact it was just "Bong." I can see why he wouldn't like it, but I can see many other friends who would have loved to have that last name, haha.
Anyway, I wasn't really excited about him, but I felt that even if friendship was all I got out of it, he seemed like someone worth being friends with, and at least someone I could enjoy hangin with and complaining about our exs together with in loneliness =) hee hee. So we went on date 2, which involved walking his adorable mutt "Moxy," grabbing some tacos, and then sharing favorite comedians with each other via you tube. I got to check out his condo, in which I found some items that were definitely not taken down since his ex lived there with him, 2 years ago. Hmmm, interesting. I took the Texas-pride pin off the bulletin board and encouraged him to throw it out, but he took it from me and placed it in a pencil cup on the desk.
We had a few to drink, and "Bong" became more and more affectionate, resting his stubbly face on my shoulder. I was pretty sure at this point that his more passive traits would be a problem for me in the long run, but I still found his face and his quirkyness and company quite attractive. It could have gone many ways at this point, UNTIL… all of a sudden while watching tv, with one arm around my shoulders, his other arm scooped up under my knees and he said, "Can I hold you like a baby?" I was definitely thrown off by this weird comment. I said, "Why do you want to hold me like a baby?" to which he replied, "'Cause, you're my baby." I was pretty freaked out by the baby comment, He was a sweet person to the core, despite the weird comment, and I'm really glad I met him and hope he gained something from me, maybe encouragement and confidence to keep looking and putting himself out there. We didn't really hang out after that. I reached out a few times as a friend, but he seemed to only be looking for the "one," not really interested in seeing me as friends.
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